It’s a Friday night, and I’m in my best friend’s kitchen scrolling through restaurant options, trying to decide between a pizza and a noodle box for dinner. Her phone buzzes with a notification from a guy she matched with on a dating app. “Is he any good? Or at least different this time?” I ask, half-jokingly. We both laugh, but a familiar resignation sits just beneath the laughter — we already know the answer. Three months later, his name or notification would never come up again. Gone without a trace, like he’d vanished into thin air.
Another friend, Sharon, remembers the last time she was traveling and locked eyes with someone who seemed interesting. They exchanged glances for what felt like forever, but neither found the courage to approach. Would an app have made it easier to break the ice?
Then, just a few days ago, a colleague texted me in frustration, “I am so done with these dating apps.” She had been seeing someone who, when asked where things were heading, suddenly dropped the bomb of wanting to keep it “casual.” The thrill of dating someone was, again, short-lived.
Honestly, how many times have you found yourself swapping stories of swipe fatigue — where the initial excitement of a match fizzles into ghosting eventually? How often do you scroll online, only to come across a random TikTok or reel telling you not to text back too quickly? Dating is now a never-ending game of mind tricks. Didn’t it used to be simpler?
I still remember the thrill of locking eyes with someone across a bar or restaurant. Or meeting someone new at a mutual friend’s party — the kind of moment that movies call a meet-cute. There’s no need for a carefully curated profile, no premeditated swipe… just a shared laugh over drinks and an exchange of glances that feels like a secret. It’s spontaneous, messy, and wonderfully real. Yet now, scrolling through dating apps and swiping left and right feels like an exercise in detachment. Maintaining a roster of potential dates no longer feels like the path to romance; it’s just exhausting.
Are we already living in a nostalgic era when it comes to meet-cute dates?
Sometime back, the internet was rife with the “charm” of Jude Law flirting his way into our hearts from the movie The Holiday. Coupled with the recent release of new rom-coms like Nobody Wants This, The Idea of You, and Anyone But You, longing for the romance of chance encounters has seen an uptick.
However, dating apps are all too often equivalent to “window shopping” rather than genuinely seeking a partner and making meaningful connections. “The constant availability of matches shifts your focus to quantity over quality. You end up in vague conversations, leaving your energy scattered and drained. While dating apps make it easier to meet new people, setting some filters early on helps identify those with purely physical intentions. Trust your intuition — a few texts and calls can reveal a lot about what the other person is truly looking for,” advises Dhana Supriya, a relationship and marriage coach.
The next time Sharon went out with someone (not through a dating app this time), she decided to be upfront and ask where things were heading after spending considerable time together. He was clear that he still wanted to see other people. She wondered if maybe people shying away from genuine commitment was the new norm. And, in reality, the fear of missing out on someone better often does keep us from fully committing to just one person now.
“Underlying fears and trust issues, shaped by past experiences, influence how people approach modern relationships. Negative experiences, like ghosting or broken commitments, can erode hope. Others may carry emotional baggage from previous relationships, leading to fears of intimacy or commitment. Attachment styles also play a role. Those with anxious attachment might fear rejection and sabotage potential connections, while avoidant types may hesitate to commit despite genuine interest,” reasons Supriya.
Media outlets report that people are moving away from online dating, suggesting singles today crave romance that doesn’t involve swipes or algorithms. It used to be that if you wanted to see someone again, you had to make an effort — show up, call, or find a way to bump into them again. It required vulnerability, courage, and a little bit of luck.
Still, despite rising skepticism about dating apps, meet-cutes alone can’t solve the challenges of modern dating. And most of us aren’t willing to sit back and wait for love to find us. So, where do you meet people? It seems the desire for authentic, in-person connections is making a comeback, with one friend telling me, “I used to attend protest events and debate clubs in college to meet like-minded people.”
This is where the meet-cute nostalgia industry steps in, making in-person encounters easier. In Mumbai, near me, Up 2 Date IRL is an offline platform that hosts these events, curating fun ice-breaker activities instead of the usual speed-dating format. They also maintain a “creep-free zone” by screening profiles and ensuring an equal gender ratio. Singles’ mixer events are particularly popular now. Even dating apps like Bumble have joined the trend of hosting “IRL” events.
There are valid reasons behind the rise of meet-cute longing. The shortcomings of dating apps are well known: unclear intentions, harassment, and slightly less stable relationships compared to those that begin in person. Thus, the trend of “intentional dating” is gaining momentum. People are growing weary of screen fatigue and impersonal interactions on dating apps; they’re actively taking steps to make real-life experiences that foster organic chemistry happen.
But, is the solution to app-dating really a random meet-cute?
One of my friends met her partner on a dating app, and they’ve been together for two years. Another colleague met her husband through an app, happily married for five years. You could hit it off with someone whose bio or images aren’t the most well-curated on a dating app. Yet, the most suave person with charming flirting tentacles could sweep you off your feet in person at a café, only for you to realize later that they’re not what you’re looking for.
Do we just need to re-evaluate and clarify how we communicate our needs and boundaries? Maybe. Hence, Dhana suggests mindset shifts for those seeking long-term connections over casual flings:
- Focus on being the person you want to attract. If you want an amazing partner who respects your boundaries and supports you, start by embodying those qualities yourself.
- If you’ve just spoken to someone, allow yourself to be in that moment. Emotional investment too early can set you up for disappointment. Be present and allow the relationship to evolve naturally.
- Be clear about your values from the start. Trust your instincts because your body never lies. If someone’s energy doesn’t align with yours or if they cross a boundary — whether emotional, mental, or physical — move on without hesitation.
- Pay attention to consistent behavior. If they’re ghosting and reappearing with excuses, recognize the pattern. Genuine interest flows consistently, not sporadically.
- Choose dates that build emotional connections rather than rushing into physical intimacy. Opt for experiences like walks in the park, painting classes, or comedy shows — activities that allow meaningful conversations and bonding.
App or no app, mystery and doubt are inseparable when it comes to love. Perhaps the key is how meet-cutes can coexist with dating apps — with more spontaneity and less strategy. And maybe, just maybe, we can bring a little of that magic back into modern dating.
