Getting hit with a mile-long back-to-school wish list is no parent’s favorite way to wrap up the summer. Yet, there’s no escaping it — every fall, kids will inevitably need and want all the things for the new school year. According to a financial expert, there’s a way to tackle that list without the drama or going into debt.
“While dipping into savings or using a credit card can be options if needed, they shouldn’t be the primary strategy,” says Dasha Kennedy, member of National Debt Relief’s Financial Wellness Board, financial activist, and creator of The Broke Black Girl.
The good news is that with a solid plan in place, back-to-school shopping can feel a little less daunting. (Sorry, you’ll still have to go shopping with your teen.) Here’s how and why to have the back-to-school budget talk now.
Acknowledge Their Wants
Even though your initial reaction to your kid’s high ticket asks (think the latest iPhone) might be an eye roll and a half, take a deep breath and a moment to remember all the pressures that come with being their age.
“It’s important to acknowledge and validate their desires while teaching them the reality of budgeting. I focus on prioritizing needs over wants and involve them in the decision-making process,” says Kennedy, reminding parents to also consider just how much kids get bombarded with consumerism through friend groups and social media.
Determine Needs vs. Wants
Don’t expect this part of the talk to go over easily. Chances are your kid’s going to put up a fight for the things they want most. But talking to them about what’s realistic and what’s not will help them develop some serious prioritization skills they can take with them throughout life.
Instead of starting the discussion with phrases passed down from your parents (aka, money doesn’t grow on trees), try explaining why the things that impact their learning come before unnecessary items.
Here’s a script from the expert to help get the conversation going:
“I see you have a lot of things you want for school, and some of them are really exciting! Let’s make a list together and see which items are the most important for your learning. We have a budget to stick to, so let’s figure out the most important things first. Then we can plan for the other cool things when we are done. How does that sound?”
With this approach, you’re helping your child understand the reasons behind why certain items on their list might have to take the back burner. This can also help prevent them from feeling unheard or uncertain about your family’s financial situation, which, if left unexplained, can escalate to resentment and anxiety.
Build a Budget and Stick to It
Bringing kids into the budgeting process is yet another way you can help them understand why they may not be able to get everything they want. It’s also an essential part of money management — a skill that is better mastered at a young age to prevent financial mistakes later in life.
“By involving kids in the budgeting process, [you’re helping them] learn to make informed decisions, prioritize spending, and understand the importance of staying within a budget,” says Kennedy. “To show your children the impact of their choices, use real-life examples. For example, if they choose a more expensive backpack, show them how that affects the budget for other items.”
As you know, building a budget is different than actually sticking to one, but Kennedy offers insights that can help you keep track of and incentivize financial goals.
“If they manage to save money on one category, they could use the leftover funds for something fun, like a treat or a small non-essential item they want. This makes budgeting rewarding and encourages smart spending,” says Kennedy. “It also helps to have regular check-ins to see how the budget is progressing. Turn budgeting into a fun family project by using charts and lists to track savings and spending, keeping everyone engaged and making learning about money fun.”
And don’t worry if financial literacy is something that you’re still figuring out for yourself. Kennedy says that taking children along for the learning journey can instill a sense of financial empowerment, as well as prevent them from seeking financial advice from unreliable sources.
Hit the Reset Button
Because all bets can go out the window when your child comes face-to-face with one of their biggest wants, don’t be surprised if a trip to the mall still leads to big disappointments (and attitudes). If this happens, it might be a good idea to hit the reset button. Go home, give them some space to work through their feelings, and then set a time to review the plan.
This is also an excellent opportunity to get your child involved in the actual savings process, if you haven’t done that already.
Planning for Next Year
Saving up for back-to-school shopping throughout the year can ease the financial stress that often comes with checking off the list of your child’s needs and wants. It can also prevent you from taking on unplanned debt.
And getting your child involved in the savings process from the get-go will not only help them to see the bigger picture, but it will also encourage them to work towards their goals and feel less disappointment when it comes time to shop. If they’re mature enough, giving them access to a kid-friendly budgeting app can go a long way toward keeping them on track.
“Encourage saving by setting up small saving challenges. For instance, if they save a portion of their allowance or earnings from chores, match it with a contribution from you. This not only increases their savings but also teaches the value of consistent saving habits,” says Kennedy.
